there are some nights at two in the morning at which a burning pang in my chest rises and i start to long to be more than i am. it’s of my own volition, really, that i am “someone convenient”. selfishness and greed and self-pity and something dark, simmering, encroaches…

Originally written on September 24, 2020 drive a spike; formally, methodically, with the detachment of a surgeon’s stilled hands, into my heart. make it a clean cut. a slick yet snug thing. something that could’ve charmed its way, with subtle wit and subtler flattery, into belonging there. have the muscle…

Word Count: 1,820 Soundtrack: Poetic Tone Picture Op. 3 No. 1 — Edvard Grieg (at 0.5x speed) I wake up. Everything’s hazy; my mind desperately tries to wade through the quicksand of bleariness. I feel like I’ve been out for days, the harsh, bruising hold of sleep threatening to lull…

Originally written on December 11, 2019 Word Count: 3,592 Soundtrack: Erik Satie’s Gymnopedies (Content Warning: Gore, Foul Language) On Thursday, I find my sixth dead body in the courtyard. Per usual, its accompanied by a massively elaborate scene; blood clots and bits of tendon adorn the surrounding trees, like a…